A Huffington Post columnist made an impassioned plea to parents of children with disabilities in her Wednesday column, urging them to consider the long-term benefits of including children with disabilities in schools and other mainstream social activities.
Carla Lohr can talk about what it’s like for a child with disabilities from two different perspectives: her own and her son’s. She can recall the “sink or swim” situations she often found herself as a girl with a disability, growing up in a world that predated the 1990 American Disabilities Act (ADA). While she doesn’t begrudge what the ADA has accomplished, she says she is “thankful” that she was treated no differently than any of her other classmates:
I walked with crutches and I carried my own books in a crocheted bag my mother made for me. I was expected to be in class by the time the bell rang, and if I wasn’t, I got a tardy slip… By the time I got to college, I was ready to face the world, without hesitation and without fear.
Even though her son’s condition qualifies him to have an aide at school to assist him with similar everyday activities, Lohr says the decision to decline that opportunity will equip her son with lessons in self-reliance. She encourages other families to think long and hard about what their child needs help with and what they can do on their own. By doing so, they will help foster more positive perceptions about people with disabilities as they grow into adulthood, and work and live in the same communities.
The trigger for Lohr’s column seems to be a recent episode of the NBC program, “Parenthood.” The character Max Braverman has difficulty making friends due in part to Asperger’s syndrome until he encounters another young boy with spina bifida, the same condition Lohr and her son have.
Lohr is concerned that one of the messages viewers will take away is that “people with disabilities can or should only befriend other people who are disabled.” While she sympathizes with parents’ desires to shield their children from adversarial circumstances, it is necessary to develop the skills to cope with those situations to be a fully developed human being:
The children must learn to deal with anger, disappointment and frustration, just as any other person would. They must also learn how to deal with people who ask questions, including people who may not be comfortable around them or those who act like complete jerks.
Lohr’s bio page on The Huffington Post says she has run a support group for parents of children with disabilities at Shriner’s Hospital for Children. Frequently, she finds herself reminding parents, often to their dismay, that one day their child will grow up. The choices they make now will make life matter that much more for their son or daughter as independent adults. “It is time to shine,” she says in closing, and the remark is directed at both the children with disabilities as well as their parents.
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Image by Beth Nazario, used under its Creative Commons license.
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